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DON’T PANIC

I have decided to make myself a “don’t panic” sign in large friendly letters to hang on the back of the toilet door alongside a towel. That way whenever I think about the immensity of parenthood, I can be reminded that it’s all going to be ok, and I will know where my towel is and that is good.

Plus, it will give me a little book-loving-nerdy chuckle every day. Prawnina is being born into a very geeky/nerdy household, and one of my main hopes is that she will love books, games and silliness as much as Kim and I.

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Gah! Hormones! Drama!

Well, as anyone who knows me in person can vouch, I can have some good hormonal mood swings and things like the best of them even before I was pregnant.

Suffice to say that this whole “growing a little human” thing has ramped it up significantly – last night I got so angry at a turd of a cardiologist at work that I had to give the phone to someone else so I could cry the wave of anger and frustration out as I was becoming unintelligible on the phone and may have (rather unprofessionally, I am aware) called the cardiologist an obnoxious liar. Then I cried because I felt my patient was getting shitty care by the doctors and there was nothing I could do to make it better. Urgh, I was one blotchy, snotty creature.

(n.b. the patient was eating an icy-pole/ice lolly and was watching The Simpsons at this point and didn’t see any of this)

It’s frustrating not to have my usual cut off switch working – normally I would have been pissed off, but able to manage it calmly and professionally. This is similar to being a blooming teenager again, but with more tears and I don’t like it.

 

Now, at the request of my best friend AML, some gory bits. Except, there really aren’t any to report at the moment (although my crying face is pretty gory) as things seem physically ok at the moment. The bump is getting bigger, so are my boobs, and if I’m entirely honest, so is the rest of me. This might be more to do with the dietary supplements I’ve been taking for my mental health – i.e. large bars of Toblerone – than anything else though. So, unless you count the sight of my ever-expanding bum as gory, I’m afraid it’s a no go on the gore front.

Third trimester is coming up scarily soon though, and I’m promised that this will all change. Gory bits ahoy, Captain Lenon!

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The joy of the alien

This morning Prawina is kicking and wriggling lots – I’m loving it, despite it being a weird feeling. I think I’m going to really miss feeling the movements after she’s born.

And there’s not much else to report on the bump front, but if anything fun happens, I’ll let you all know!

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What I would like to say versus reality…

When you tell people you’re pregnant a strange thing occurs, you’re warned about it, but you don’t think it’ll be that bad.

What am I on about?

Unsolicited advice. From everyone, those with or without children and especially people whose parenting skills I consider questionable, it would seem.

The reality is that I listen with a polite smile and make the appropriate noises. In my head though, I want to rant and scream obscenities at idiots who feel it is their right to tell me EXACTLY how I should feel/what I should do/when I should do or feel it etc. etc.. Especially as I work with children and I’m quite smart and IT’S NONE OF THEIR *&%$#@!@#$ BUSINESS… ahem.

Now this is not to be confused with me being a smart arse and thinking I know it all Рas a first time mum, I do need advice and I am so grateful for having a wealth of knowledge just a question away amongst my family,  friends, colleagues, midwives and even the internet (although this is my last resort due to crazy people posting fiction as fact). I love talking how-to-grow functional human beings with people whose parenting I admire or whom I just like and who have a good positive outlook.

But when I’m faced with people bleating nonsense in my general direction, I just feel a bit stabby.¬†

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A blurry pic of my morning!

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So, this morning I go back to my pregnancy yoga for the first time in 6 weeks. I can’t wait as I just feel better afterwards. The hiatus was a combination of work (night duties) and exhaustion. Still, I’m up and going today.

It’s a beautiful morning in Melbourne and I thought I’d share with you all my view as I eat my breakfast – after feeling down in the dumps, I’m trying to focus on the positive. In no particular order the things that are making me smile this morning are:

  • feeling Prawnina wriggling about, she’s always so active in the morning (oh, I hope she’s not after she’s born!)
  • the feeling of spring sunshine on my toes
  • watching my garden begin to bloom into spring
  • listening to Boris snore gently in the sunshine
  • listening to all the local birds singing
  • the sun making twinkling rainbows on the bead curtain at the french doors
  • and finally, having a beautiful safe home to enjoy it all in – I’m a very lucky Sarah indeed!