For Captain Lenon of the Good Ship Icky Things

Now, first off – at the very top of the blog, I told you that I would occasionally overshare about pregnancy things. This is one of those times. If you get offended, well… get over it!


I just discovered that my boobs can squirt milk about 20cm. I shrieked, called Kim in and showed him. I found it hilarious and bizarre and just for my best friend AML, I’m sharing it on the blog!


Help, help – I’ve lost my feet!!!



So, I have achieved a milestone – I can’t see my feet past my bump without bending forward significantly. Please note the little furry photobomber who goes by the name of Boris Von Schnitzel – our neurotic, but lovely dog.



Music and the Prawn

Apparently, Prawnina’s ears are developed enough that she can hear sounds – voices, music, etc. I love music and attribute it to my wonderful parents who had pretty great taste in music and thus, I’m hoping to pass it on to El Prawnetta.

Kim is partially deaf and has near constant tinnitus from being baked under a UV light as a premature baby, so is just not into music. And so, I have taken on the role as musical educator to the Prawn.

Now, apparently, I could buy “belly buds”…


For the bargain price of $49, I could stick oversized ear buds to my bump and play Prawn some music. Apparently, it will make you feel so amazing you will have to hold your own head up whilst standing in a white room.

Apparently, classical is the go here. “The Mozart Effect” is talked about on several wanky websites – apparently Prawnina will become smarter from some in utero classical tunes.

HOWEVER, I couldn’t find any hard and fast evidence of it actually doing anything in utero and thus, I have decided that the only way to go is to expose Prawn’s developing ears to all manner of music, mostly in the car on my commute to and from work. Everything from The Beatles, to some nice psytrance, to metal, rock, grunge (In Utero by Nirvana seems appropriate), chillout, Spanish guitar stuff (Rodrigo Y Gabriella, look them up), all manner of tasty electronica and of course my “singing in the car tunes” the likes of which shall not be entirely admitted on the internet. Suffice to say, there is old school Madonna and some 80’s classics, intermingled with Jimi Hedrix and Led Zeppelin. Not much modern pop music as I’m old and it was better in my day. No freaking twerking and licking power tools. Although Zombie Nation by Kernkraft 400, did have a sexy power tools themed video now I come to think of it, but it was a good track and was 100% Miley Cyrus free.

So… music and the Prawn – obviously I can’t know whether she likes things or not, but I’m figuring that if I like it and it’s making me happy then she likes it too. She certainly has some types of music that make her more active, I love feeling her move, so I like to pretend she’s dancing a bit in there – currently (by that tenuous logic) she’s a fan of “smells like teen spirit” by Nirvana, “like a prayer” by Madonna and Protoculture.

She’s also been to her first gig, Kim and I went to see Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra, which was a wonderful concert and she had a good kick/dance through some of the tracks. Amanda Palmer also signed a poster “To Prawn, ❤ AFP” which we’re going to frame and put in her nursery, as it was such a lovely night. I have to be mushy and say that snuggling up to Kim for most of it made it extra special – I do love him so much. I feel like I’ve won the awesome chap lottery!

So, no belly buds and Mozart, more singing in the car and the odd concert whilst her ears are so well protected. Only time will tell what taste she’ll have, but one thing I am sure of is that she’ll torture us in the teenage years with whatever boyband crap is popular then.

On that note, I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologise to my parents for my tween/teenage love of Bros and then New Kids On The Block.

I’m sorry I put you through that. Especially Dad who came to an NKOTB concert with me and only rolled his eyes a little bit.



I have decided to make myself a “don’t panic” sign in large friendly letters to hang on the back of the toilet door alongside a towel. That way whenever I think about the immensity of parenthood, I can be reminded that it’s all going to be ok, and I will know where my towel is and that is good.

Plus, it will give me a little book-loving-nerdy chuckle every day. Prawnina is being born into a very geeky/nerdy household, and one of my main hopes is that she will love books, games and silliness as much as Kim and I.


Gah! Hormones! Drama!

Well, as anyone who knows me in person can vouch, I can have some good hormonal mood swings and things like the best of them even before I was pregnant.

Suffice to say that this whole “growing a little human” thing has ramped it up significantly – last night I got so angry at a turd of a cardiologist at work that I had to give the phone to someone else so I could cry the wave of anger and frustration out as I was becoming unintelligible on the phone and may have (rather unprofessionally, I am aware) called the cardiologist an obnoxious liar. Then I cried because I felt my patient was getting shitty care by the doctors and there was nothing I could do to make it better. Urgh, I was one blotchy, snotty creature.

(n.b. the patient was eating an icy-pole/ice lolly and was watching The Simpsons at this point and didn’t see any of this)

It’s frustrating not to have my usual cut off switch working – normally I would have been pissed off, but able to manage it calmly and professionally. This is similar to being a blooming teenager again, but with more tears and I don’t like it.


Now, at the request of my best friend AML, some gory bits. Except, there really aren’t any to report at the moment (although my crying face is pretty gory) as things seem physically ok at the moment. The bump is getting bigger, so are my boobs, and if I’m entirely honest, so is the rest of me. This might be more to do with the dietary supplements I’ve been taking for my mental health – i.e. large bars of Toblerone – than anything else though. So, unless you count the sight of my ever-expanding bum as gory, I’m afraid it’s a no go on the gore front.

Third trimester is coming up scarily soon though, and I’m promised that this will all change. Gory bits ahoy, Captain Lenon!


The joy of the alien

This morning Prawina is kicking and wriggling lots – I’m loving it, despite it being a weird feeling. I think I’m going to really miss feeling the movements after she’s born.

And there’s not much else to report on the bump front, but if anything fun happens, I’ll let you all know!